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Recovering Out loud, Together

Apr 21 / Robin Taylor
Quite a while ago, we had another graduation from our church's recovery ministry. The graduate made the statement that he once had a secret that was killing him and now, he had a story to save others. We are called to share one another's burdens. No one can understand or support me the way that a fellow survivor can. 
Our need for connection runs deep, because God designed us for community. He calls us to come alongside of the suffering around us, help them to their feet and aide them in healing their spirit and soul.
We can't do that when we bury our own hearts and hide our stories in shame. You, daughter, have nothing to be ashamed of. In spite of what your abuser told you, in spite of what the world may tell you and even in spite of what the church may tell you. They are not God. Let HIM be the one to speak into your life.
There are physical and mental health benefits to involvement in a support group, regardless of the issue. It appears that we really do need each other.  The problem with surviving domestic violence is there is a certain amount of shame involved, not just for having the experience, but for the added guilt of some of our own actions if we failed to navigate the situation in healthy ways. The voices we hear in our heads are often echoed by those in the church who may feel divorce is never an option, even in cases of abuse. Many women have fallen victim to the lie that if they would have only been more submissive or prayerful, their husbands would experience a miraculous healing, and they would not be in their current situation. 
There is a certain freedom that comes with honestly admitting my pain. Not only for me, but for those around me who may still be hiding their secret, praying that no one picks up on it.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially those who belong to the family of believers."
Galatians 6: 9-10

The unfortunate truth is that many women in the church believe lies about themselves, who they are and who their husband is called to be to them. We must reach out and share our stories with our young women. We need to share our mistakes and failures. The wisdom that has come from those experiences can help shape them into women of God who do not fear their husbands or their future. 
We must not be afraid to speak out for the future generations of Christian women. They need to understand their place as God's daughters. We should take every opportunity to encourage and support survivors and point the way to a healthier future free from the bonds of domestic violence. 
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