As I made my way to the top bleachers, the woman I saw raising her arms came walking down the stairs towards me. Someone who was on their way to join her asked what had happened and she commented that she was told no one was allowed up at the top. Disappointed, I turned and started back down the stairs, only to see an elderly man with a cane, trying to make his way up the stairs. As it turned out, he had decided to take the journey up the stairs, cane and all. I spoke with him and then walked down the stairs with him. He wasn't just elderly, he was disheveled. To be more honest, he smelled. He told me that he had just gotten out of the hospital and had driven quite a distance to get there. I helped him find a table and chairs and got him something to drink.
As I walked away, God spoke. "Worshiping me can be dirty and uncomfortable. It's not all about the mountain top."
As you move through the process of recovery, you will need to approach the unapproachable. You will need to look at events and yourself in ways that feel uncomfortable. Just as when you wash your hands you need to look for the dirt, when you cleanse your spirit, things are bound to get a little dirty.
The woman at the well didn't make excuses when Jesus called her out. She knew he was being truthful. In his honesty, there was no condemnation or cruelty.
When you feel spirit led to examine yourself, even in ways that are uncomfortable, remember that the work of recovery from your trauma can be difficult, even dirty sometimes, but God in his goodness is concerned for your best.
He replied, " The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. So, I went and washed, and then I could see."
John 9:11
Jesus simply could have healed the blind man's eyes without requiring anything on his part. Often, we pray for a miracle in our healing, but we don't want to do the work. The work of healing is not easy, but we were never told that our lives were intended to be effortless.
Ask God to give you wisdom in your healing and be prepared to do the work that lies ahead.