When I went through that divorce, God sent me to 2 Timothy 3. If you are not familiar with it, you should familiarize yourself with it, particularly if you have been through any type of abuse.
"But mark this, there will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God-having a form of Godliness but denying it's power. Have nothing to do with such people.
They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned are rejected. But they will not get very far because, as in the case of these men, their folly will be clear to everyone."
I WAS NOT responsible for his anger. I was not responsible for his emotional regulation or lack of self-control. I WAS NOT responsible for the physical, emotional and sexual abuse that I suffered at his hands.
What I was responsible for was being a gullible woman. I ignored red flags at the start of the relationship and allowed him to continue to scape goat me for his behavior until my mental, physical and spiritual health shattered.
I have become convinced that God tells us not to have anything to do with people like this because when we do, we suffer for it. When we try to live beyond our limitations, we set ourselves up for failure.
When I live in my fight or flight, I WILL struggle with depression, anxiety, sleep disturbance, irritability, memory issues, lack of focus, dissociation and more. I will not be able to live the life that God has called me to.
Take responsibility for yourself today by prioritizing your value to God and your mental, spiritual and physical health. Take responsibility for what is yours to do, even if your responsibility is to walk away.
