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Time to Bloom - Faith Based Healing from Domestic Violence and Narcissistic

If you've been wondering "what is wrong with me?" — there's a faith based path to healing from trauma.

Time to Bloom - Faith Based Healing from Domestic Violence and Narcissistic

If you've been wondering "what is wrong with me?" — there's a faith based path to healing from trauma.

Understand God's Design

What is Wrong with Me?

You are NOT Defective.

As both a LCSW and a survivor of domestic violence, I am here to assure you that you are NOT defective. You are God's creation; you are not a mistake and the abuse that you have experienced is not your fault. Narcissistic abusers are experts at manipulating others into taking far more responsibility for events than they should. Your response, driven by fear and trauma can easily become the subject of conversation rooted in guilt and shame.

You are God's daughter, his flower and his creation. You simply can't bloom into the woman you were called to be in a chronically unstable environment. He never designed you to live this life.

In my own healing journey, I studied both scripture and the secular psychology behind trauma. During this healing process God led me to 2 Timothy 3:

But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these. 6 For among them are those who slip into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. 8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men of depraved mind, worthless in regard to the faith. 9 But they will not make further progress; for their foolishness will be obvious to all, just as was that also of Jannes and Jambres.

- 2 Timothy 3: 1-9 NASB

When I fully understood the effects the chronically unstable and threatening environment that is the product of narcissistic abuse, I was able to give myself grace for my past behavior and current struggles to find a path towards healing that honored both my faith and the knowledge of how God created me.

Many women in domestic violence and narcissistic abuse recovery spend years asking themselves why they feel the way they do — exhausted, hypervigilant, unable to trust their own instincts. Here's what we know: your body is not broken. Your nervous system has been protecting you. 2 Timothy 3 reminds us that unstable environments produce real, physical effects — and God's design for healing accounts for all of it. Understanding how your body responds to trauma isn't just psychological. It's spiritual.

Our Expanded Mission

Mission Statement

Time to Bloom equips women to heal and grow through an educational mental health platform rooted in Christ — bridging evidence-based psychology with Scripture to help them understand how God designed their mind, body, and spirit to bloom into the woman God called them to be.

Expanded Focus

Our new app has an expanded focus that combines spiritual growth and healing that is rooted in evidenced based psychology and scripture.

What you will find:

Weekly podcast for spiritual growth as a woman of God, "Princess with a Crooked Crown."
"Quick Tips", quick videos focused on boosting mood and understanding God's design of your body, mind and spirit.
"Coping Kit", breath and body activities and Christian meditations for mental health.
"Charting Your Journey" videos and private journaling activities.
Our complete "God's Design: Domestic Violence Recovery Course"

Frequently Asked Questions

How does abuse effect you while you are experiencing it?

When we experience a threat to our well-being, we are knocked into our fight or flight response, our blood pressure rises, our hearts beat faster and our memory and logical thought processes diminish. Our full energy is devoted to staying alive. In these moments, we don't make logical choices, and our reactions become reflexive and defensive in nature.

When I first opened my private practice, I had four women come to me in the space of three months who all told similar stories. All four of them were packing to leave during an argument, and their male partners were all yelling, blocking doors, and generally continuing to fight as they were trying to leave. All four of them lashed out physically and all four of them went to jail.

What you need to know is that your job is not to regulate HIS emotions, but to regulate YOURS. When you are in a chronically unstable environment, because of the way your body is built, you will behave in ways that are not within your character. You are not evil or defective; you simply were not designed to hold up under abuse. 2 Timothy 3 warns about the character of others during the time the scripture was written and the principals there are still at work today.

If we expose ourselves to violence and threats, our bodies are forced into their fight or flight 24/7. Because of this we will react reflexively, but even when we are not in the midst of violence, it will have an effect. Women experiencing abuse may suffer from depression, anxiety, lack of sleep, difficulties with concentration, irritability and dissociation to name just a few.

What is my fight or flight?

Your fight or flight response is a God given protection. It is the way your body responds to threats to keep you safe. Its goal is to keep you alive. When you are knocked into your fight or flight response, your blood pressure and heartrate rise, your muscles tense and you may even feel nauseous. In addition to physical sensations you may notice, your logical thought process, executive function and memory are all negatively impacted. You reactions are truly more reflexive and not logically thought out. The concern here is survival.

When you have experienced domestic violence, there are other reactions besides the obvious "fight" or "flight" response that can occur. Sometimes, you may experience a "freeze" response. This can happen when both your sympathetic nervous system and parasympathetic nervous system are activated at once. This causes your body to freeze. You may tighten up and be unable to move, or you may fall to the ground.

Still another trauma response in abusive relationships is fawning. This is an attempt to diminish the threat by soothing the source of it. Often, this comes at the victim's expense.

It's important to remember that our responses are not thought out and logical. They are reflexive reactions with survival at their core.

Is he REALLY a narcissist? What Can I do to change HIM?

Unfortunately, in our society, people can be quick to use mental health diagnosis as labels for people they simply don't like or have a conflict with. The term narcissist has become a popular label that has been dangerously overused. To have a clear understanding narcissism, you need to look at the criteria established in the DSM-5, this is the manual used for diagnosis in the mental health community.

There are nine traits of the disorder as listed in the DSM. The first is a grandiose sense of self. This is not simple self-confidence, this is an exaggerated sense of who the narcissist is as a person. They may exaggerate accomplishments and abilities in a manner that is out of touch with reality. The second is preoccupation with thoughts of their success, perfect love, and achievement of great power or influence. Third, they view themselves as special and unique and feel that because of this, you also must be special, unique or powerful to be able to relate to them. Additionally, narcissist have an exaggerated sense of entitlement. Because they view themselves so highly, they expect treatment from others that reflects their view of themselves. They may view themselves as above the law or rules of society and feel that they don't have to comply with inconveniences and limits placed on other people. Further, a narcissist is exploitive in his relationships. He will take advantage of both personal and professional interactions and relationships for his own gain, with no concern for the emotional harm inflicted on others. This is because of their inability or unwillingness to identify and care about the emotions and needs of others. Because they have such a high need for admiration and inflated sense of worth, they may be quick to be envious of others and expect others to be envious of them. Lastly, they display arrogant and condescending behavior, treating others as beneath them or lesser than.

It is important to realize that someone can display some narcissistic traits and not meet the criteria to be diagnosed as a narcissist. What is more important is to be able to logically and honestly look at the health of a relationship and be able to identify behaviors that are abusive and unhealthy.

Unfortunately, another complicating factor with Chirstian woman is that frequently scriptures have been twisted to manipulate them into taking more responsibility in their relationships than they should. 1 Peter 3: 4-5 has been widely misinterpreted and misused to encourage women to stay in abusive relationships. They are admonished if they are submissive enough, pray enough or even fast enough, their partner's heart will change. If there is no change, it is because of their own failings or sin, rather than their male counterparts.

No one can force change in another. It is our obligation to live a life worthy of God's calling. The focus of our work is to offer Christian coaching and education that helps survivors to understand narcissistic abuse and domestic violence, the short- and long-term effects of chronically unstable environments and a path forward to healing that honors your faith and how God designed your body to function.

How does abuse effect children?

Many Christian women will convince themselves or be encouraged by others to stay in abusive relationships "for the sake of the children."

This ignores the larger picture, the impact of domestic violence on future mental and even physical well- being. The more obvious influence is continuing what many in Christian communities may refer to as a generational curse. Boys who witness abuse are 10 times more likely to become abusers themselves (https://womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/domestic-violence/effects-domestic-violence-children) while girls are a little over 8 times more likely to become victims (https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12397551/) Unfortunately, this is only the tip of the iceberg. The ACE study revealed that the more traumatic events a child experiences in developmental years, the more likely they are to suffer with many mental health issues. In addition, they found a higher prevalence of a number of physical ailments. You can find out more about the ace study at: https://www.cdc.gov/aces/about/index.html

More About Time to Bloom

My Testimony

Domestic Violence Recovery and Prevention

I am a survivor of childhood abuse and domestic violence. I know from personal experience how it feels to believe you are unlovable and unworthy. I have experienced abuse both outside and inside the church.

I founded Time to Bloom because when I opened my private practice in counseling, New Creation Counseling, I was overwhelmed with the

I founded Time to Bloom because when I opened my private practice in counseling, New Creation Counseling, I was overwhelmed with the number of women who came to me with horrific stories of abuse. At one point, I remember sobbing in a parking lot after hanging up the phone with a client in crisis. I questioned God why I was seeing such things, and the answer I felt in my heart was "my daughters are dying." Since that time, I worked to develop a domestic violence curriculum, "God's Design: Domestic Violence Recovery" and founded Time to Bloom in my efforts to raise awareness of domestic violence and provide Christian women with a faith-based path to healing based on my own personal healing and professional knowledge.

Recently, I was praying for direction and felt that God put it on my heart that although domestic violence is part of my testimony, it is not in isolation my calling. Because of this, I have expanded the support offered by Time to Bloom by putting an increased and expanded focus on identity in Christ and what it is to be a woman of God in addition to working towards expanding "God's Design" to a series of faith-based mental health courses and resources.

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Woman with curly hair covering her face, standing near a window.

Domestic Violence Recovery and Prevention

One in three women will be a victim of domestic violence in their lifetime. Many of these women struggle with the impact of their abuse, particularly when dealing with issues related to narcissistic abuse. They often view themselves as defective because they don't understand how God designed their bodies to function and their own God-give

Our domestic violence recovery program provides an approach to healing that combines scripture and sound psychological understanding of trauma to help our clients build an understanding of how God designed their mind, body and spirit to function and help them bloom into the woman God called them to be.

We are committed to helping women understand both the power and depth of God's love for them. It is through an understanding and acceptance of who we are in Christ and the security that comes from God our Father that women can step out of abuse and into a life that honors God and promotes healing. The security of knowing our value to God can enable women to avoid re-victimization through acceptance of their value to God and how he views marriage and the treatment of women.

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Services and Partnerships

Domestic Violence Recovery and Prevention

Services and Partnerships

We strive to serve both individuals and agencies. Our new app will be available for purchase through both Google play store and the Apple app store. We are committed to informing, educating and empowering women to answer God's calling on their lives and find healing in his presence.

We will gladly tailor our services to meet the needs of

We will gladly tailor our services to meet the needs of any agency that works toward helping women recover from domestic violence and incorporate faith in their healing.

We are happy to work with any agency size and budgets to enable you to provide additional resources for your clients.

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Time to Bloom - Faith Based Healing from Domestic Violence and Narcissistic

Time to Bloom - Faith Based Healing from Domestic Violence and Narcissistic